Successfully treating unconsummated marriages


“Over the past 30 years I have successfully treated over 150 couples who presented with unconsummated relationships. The period of time of not being able to have sexual intercourse has ranged from two weeks to twelve years.”


Most women who present with unconsummated marriages experience a condition called vaginismus: The vaginal muscles become so tight that the vagina cannot be entered or the tension in the vaginal muscles often cause intercourse to be painful.


Some women with vaginismus have a medical condition that causes pain in the vulva or vagina. This pain may be constant, intermittent, or only experienced during sex. They often fear penetration and intercourse. The cause of the pain needs to be correctly diagnosed.


After the first few episodes of vaginismus, the woman begins to anticipate pain at every sexual encounter and then may consciously try to avoid experiencing the pain. Thus, she may develop a lack of desire for sex. This lack of desire and her anxiety due to the expectation of pain cause her body to automatically tighten her vagina during attempted sexual intercourse. This reinforces and intensifies the already existing vaginismus.


For most women vaginismus is an involuntary reaction of her body to protect her from anticipated pain. Sometimes this tension occurs only during sexual encounters, resulting in the inability to have sexual intercourse, or it may be more all-encompassing, preventing the woman from inserting a tampon or having a pelvic examination.


Primary vaginismus occurs when a woman has never been able to have penetrative sex or experience any kind of vaginal penetration without pain.


Secondary vaginismus occurs when a woman who has previously been able to achieve penetration develops vaginismus. This may be due to physical causes, such as infections or pain during childbirth, or it may be due to psychological causes.




Vaginismus is considered one of the most successfully treatable female sexual problems. Treatment for vaginismus is generally brief. A step by step process using a combination of desensitisation exercises and relaxation exercises is taught. These are then practiced in the privacy of one’s home. This process helps the woman overcome her fear of sexual intercourse. Her partner’s participation in treatment and his emotional support are considered essential to the success of treatment.


Now you can enjoy sexual intimacy... without pain

Psychologist Johannesburg 

Hypnosis hypnotherapy sex sexologist hypnotherapist

Psychologist Johannesburg